Interview III

[cailj]

1. What are your expectations of marriage?

I'm not sure I really have expectations of marriage that are different from my expectations of the relationship now. Everyone tells me that marriage is different even from living together with someone, but I don't see it. I already feel married to Mark. Blissfully so. I guess, if I had to pinpoint something that I think will change, it's the knowledge that, for the rest of my life, I will always have to consider another person's feelings and desires before I act. I already do that, but marriage just kind of solidifies that, I think.

2. Do you feel that your non-traditional relationships of the past will make your upcoming marriage better, worse, or not affect it at all?

In all honesty, I think that this relationship is the least traditional one I've ever had. I've been in D/S relationships before, I've been in long-distance relationships before, and I've been in same-sex relationships before, but they were all, in many ways, still traditional. But what they've taught me is that, above all, I have to be honest with myself and my partners, and when expectations change, I have to be willing to admit that. I think that having experienced all manner of odd and weird things will make the relationship better if only because I've tried so many things that I have a better sense of what I truly do and do not want.

3. If you decide to have kids (I see that Tesla asked you if you plan to), what is the most important /one/ thing you can teach them?

To love themselves. I don't plan to, but if I did, I would teach them that loving and respecting themselves is the most important thing /anyone/ can do. It makes you confident, it makes you proud, it makes you able to face things you don't think you can, and it helps you to walk away from the people who want to hurt you. People who love themselves don't get into abusive situations. People who love themselves do not form addictive, non-healthy, self-destructive tendencies. Not on large, grand scales.

Comments

loving yourself

[amiev.livejournal.com]

I agree 1,000%.