Stuff!

[cailj]

Okay, long time since I did anything even remotely resembling a journal entry here.

It's been a busy, crazy, hectic few weeks. The trip to San Antonio was absolutely fantastic though. There was girl talk. There were confessions. There were secrets told and secrets created. There was lots of opening up and growing closer. I liked that a whole lot. Plus, there was ice cream by the river, fajitas and margaritas, bridal fabrics, Liam the space baby, and much oohing and aahing over jewelry that made me weak in the knees.

There was also an ICU ward filled with sick babies that made me cry. If anything, it strengthened my conviction not to have children. I don't think I'd ever want to (or be able to) have control over something that small and fragile. And I know babies are not nearly as fragile as people think, but they are still so ... vulnerable. I don't trust myself with such little vulnerable things.

My family was amazing. They were like a family I never met before, happy and healthy and young seeming and ... wow. It was just really amazing to see both of my parents in such happy states. My mother quitting that horrible job really took 20 years off of her. And while I will miss them both, going to China is going to be great for them.

There was a tornado and a rainstorm that had the three of us soaked to the bones and running around a gas station parking lot trying to find a way to rig up a fake tarp to cover the desk we needed to save from getting wet. And after we spent forty bucks and got drenched and didn't stop one iota of water from hitting the desk in the back of the truck, the storm left and didn't spill a drop of water the rest of the way home. It was fun in a demented kind of way.

When I came home, the wedding invitations had arrived. And then the new toy came. Mmmmm. Fun toy. And D had had my car washed, waxed, and cleaned inside and out. And he got new windshield wipers and an oil change. Plus there were flowers and a card and a clean house. I won't get into what I offered and gave up for all he did with the car though. :)

Comments

[teslagirl.livejournal.com]

Your thoughts on having children are interesting. I remember being terrified of the responsibility of taking care of my first child. For probably the entire first year, I couldn't believe I was in total control of such a tiny needy person. I think the gravity of that responsibility is what made me so depressed post-partum. Luckily, though, that feeling has faded. Now I only sense the enormity of the task every once in a while... I will look at the girls and wonder how they are ever going to fend for themselves... I also remember a feeling more directly related to yours -- before I had Quinn I thought babies were delicate and.. well, annoying. Of course, that changed when the baby was actually mine. :)

I am going nowhere with this. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

[brenna-edana.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing the weekend, sweetie. It was wonderful.

Loved the rain. Loved your family. Loved the Riverwalk and the ice cream and the fajitas and the talks and...

Love you, sweetie. *hugs*

Hope your, um... week is going well.

Babies Break!

[demonhaunted.livejournal.com]

I'm with you, babe. No way I could handle having kids. I can barely be responsible for my own life, much less someone else's. Much less someone else's who is so tiny and squishy!