Feb. 21st, 2003

cailj: (Default)
Ack. Nightmare nightmare nightmare. Blood and knives and dismemberment and more blood and ugly morphing creatures who are me and not me and D and not D, and D trying to kill everyone, including me, and then more blood and more blood and more blood and butcher knives and flying silver disks of death that land in my foot and cause even more blood. And then fear so bad that I wake up close to panic and tears, waking up D in the process. And then the inability to fall into anything /but/ that nightmare as I fall back asleep, so that the sound of the cat purring or D rolling over or even the air conditioning turning on flip me back into panic mode so that I'm terrified again until finally I just have to get up and turn on all the lights in the house, even though I'm so tired that my eyes don't want to stay open, and it's all I can do to sit here and write this out to avoid slipping back into sleep right now.

ARGH.

Okay. I'm going to play Word Whomp for ten minutes and see if that numbs my brain.

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cailj

February 2006

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