Jul. 21st, 2003

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So, until I started taking birth control pills, I had the most horrifying cramps imaginable. They were so bad that I couldn't even be a bitch when I was PMSing, I could really only whimper and cry and be a sad little girl. Well, the pills have taken away the intense, nasty, evil cramps. For which I am amazingly grateful. But they've left me, instead, with a very stereotypical PMS/MS cycle. Bitchiness, aggrivation, slight amounts of pain, lots of emotion. Luckily it's only a couple of days, but it's enough to know that /I/ don't like myself while it's happening. God only knows how D can put up with me.

I'm hoping that this month just happened to be exacerbated by the frustration I'm feeling over the dissertation and the desire to be done with working for lawyers.

Because, God am I ever ready to be done working for lawyers. For good. Don't get me wrong, the place I'm working for has the /best/ lawyers, personality wise, that I've ever met. I love the people I work with, and the work is slightly more interesting than in most places. But oh God... just something about being around the legal profession 9 hours a day is enough to make anyone want to slice out their eyes and ears so as to avoid hearing or seeing any more of it.

Like the junior attorney who, I swear, must get a hard-on everytime he gets to repossess someone's livelihood. Shrimp boats, businesses, warehouses, you name it. If it means he gets to be evil, he's like a child on Christmas morning. Or the attorney who refuses to take calls from his poor clients who are actually in cases with legitimate merit but will spend all day talking with and playing golf with the rich bastards who are so in the wrong that it's coming out their pores along with the roast beef sandwiches they had for lunch. It's disgusting.

When I was younger, law was what I wanted to go into. I was double majoring in poli sci and economics. I was going to take on the world, go to the London School of Economics, get my law degree at Princeton, and take over the world. Ugh. Just... ugh.

Going into literature and getting to actually explore things I was truly passionate about was just about the best thing I ever decided to do. Except marry D. That's pretty much even with that decision.

But enough about lawyers. I only have, hopefully, four more days and then I'm done. And then I can focus on this dissertation thing. Of course, I found a chapter in a book by another woman that pretty much wrote half my chapter on Lee Smith before I could even start it. *sigh* I hate it when that happens. I really hate it.

Just to geek for a moment, I got told yesterday that I was the best RPer that this group of people had ever played with. Considering how good they were, I kind of melted under the praise. It was nice. I like praise. :)

D isn't feeling well, and it makes me sad. I want a magic pill that will make all his pain go away. I'm such a doofus that way. His pain makes me sad, but when I'm in pain and he's sad, I just want to make him stop being sad. Gah. I'm beginning to disgust even myself with the sappiness levels around here. :)

Going out this week to pick out the tux and get measurements. Going out in two weeks to help my Maid of Honor to get her dress and to talk to the florist. Full steam ahead.

Of course, I keep getting letters from my registry people telling me that items on my registry are no longer available. I will have to kill them.

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cailj

February 2006

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